…of my life.  Almost maybe 8 hours in the hospital visiting Uncle Francis.  I was nervous to go and when I first went into the ICU was with my parents.  I tried holding back the tears but 5 minutes later I couldn’t help myself and my dad told me I can leave the ICU so I did and didn’t even want to go back into the waiting room so stood out by the elevators til I stopped crying and calmed down.  It was tough.  It was tough hearing everyone talking about I don’t even know and me just curious as to what they were saying and what was going on at the family meeting and what they were deciding but I didn’t want to ask questions.  I was scared to hear things explained to me.  Went in for a second time with Sam and Nicole which was also tough, it’s just tough in general to see him in that state, which I was not expecting in the first place.  I just can’t even…like…explain my feelings.  The third time I went up with Eileen and some aunties.  Uncle James was giving a prayer and some Killips were up there as well.  I couldn’t even imagine how they are feeling inside, they are such a close family.  Of course I cried again (and currently still and have been crying since I’ve been home) and was extra tough when Auntie Linda came into the room, it was heartbreaking.  Auntie Cyp brought me and Eileen out and Auntie Val brought out Auntie Linda to the waiting room and Auntie Cyp was saying how it’s hard for us kids because he’s been there for us for our birthdays and everything and ughhsfglasfsfskfsdf.

Today was just heartbreaking.  I really wish I could just stick around in Jersey for the rest of the week, could have found someone to work for me Thursday and just stayed around to be with the family.  All I want to hear is good news.

Praying he pulls through and praying for our family and friends.